just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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