WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
