I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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