we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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