My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
