Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
