I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize