Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
