He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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