Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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