It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
