Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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