Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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