Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
