you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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