Grow some girl-balls and come out already
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
