Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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