The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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