so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
