She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
