hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
