my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
