I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
