I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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