I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
They have beer where we have blood.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
