remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I got inside last night via doggy door
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
