Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I wish you could order shots online.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize