nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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