Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Acid is not a monday night drug
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
