Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
high people should be assigned attendants
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
