they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
