Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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