yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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