some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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