The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
