is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
