If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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