i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm like, not good at living.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
