I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
