goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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