singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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