This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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