me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Dignity is for republicans.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
