I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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