is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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