wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
