Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
