Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
You just made me feel so damn special
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize