so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!