I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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