But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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