omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
