Welp...herpes.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize