The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
