shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
