Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
