Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i may or may not be watching the land before time
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
