where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
