just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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